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GWF
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The Genital Wart Factor. For most people this phrase conjures up visions of a hideous fanny disease that affects minger chavs. For a more enlightened group it means something quite different. In the 1980s a small collective of pus-faced pretentious child-men formed The Genital Wart Factor one lunchtime at school. They could barely grow a beard between them, but they could make hideous music that made Satan laugh. Indeed – he adopted them as his own, jinxing their lives from that moment onwards. The GWF nucleus was formed by the unlikely pairing of the nascent Jon Williams (later of Jon Thomas (no H) and the All New Lucky Boys) and the incandescently beautiful Karl Hodge (later fat and balding and forever doomed to be introduced as “that bloke who played bass in the GWF”). During the time they recorded as the GWF, they forged lyrics line by alternate line over tea and fig biscuits at first, then later pints of smelly beer and finally under the influence of mind-expanding joints of pot. With lyrics scrawled in a school jotter that Jon had drawn screaming faces all over, they would decamp to their posh mate Philip’s house to record the stuff on Kay guitars, recorder and a Casio VL-Tone calculator/synth. They began in the very early 80s as “The Bricks”, recording an EP with Phil on Guitar and Neil Buckett on Tupperware and that. It was hideous. It was glorious. Famously containing “You Were Beautiful, But Now You’re Dead” and the heartfelt ballad “I’m Dying” copies are rare as nose limpets and cannot be found on eBay. Following the name change, their greatest triumph was the seminal tape “Too Good looking to Live” Recorded in a trio of glorious sticky spurts in the summer of 1983 – this is The Genital Wart Factor’s finest slice of lo-fi lunacy. The ‘best’ tracks (or rather the tracks Jon thought were best) were stuck on one side of a C90 Woolworths audiocassette and hidden under his wank-hankie. Sandwiched on either side by their hiss filled debut “All Our Songs Especially for You”, the post-adolescent ignominy of “The Return of the GWF” and the ill advised “Wart Faktor Five” – the GWF are the sound of bollocks dropping, of guitars not quite in tune, of the Tupperware envelope pushed to its limit. The most definitive of the Colne Valley Chaos bands, we like to think the GWF would thank us for creating this page about them – but now they’re locked deep inside the adult minds of a bunch of boring old twats. |
| Personel:
Jon Williams, Karl Hodge, Phil Brook & Neil Buckett Guests: Guy Denton, Daz Barden, John Kipling & Jason Hodge |
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Releases: "You Were Beautiful, But Now You’re Dead" - E.P. C60 released as “The Bricks”, including one entire side of montaged noise and four stupid songs. "All Our Favourite Songs Especially For You" - C60 featuring the full original line-up and gems such as “The Magic Chair” and “Family Death Song” "Too Good Looking To Live/Outtakes" - C90/CD. The band’s finest hour with top tracks “The Song About Nothing”, “Not All There” and “Jive Not Jive”. "It Isn’t Even Christmas" - E.P (coupled with “Too Good Looking…” on CD re-release). "The Return of the GWF" – C60, the band’s post-college comeback with signature tracks “Bruises”, “Seventeen” and “Return of the GWF”. Recorded by Karl and Jon with an appearance from Phil. "Wart Faktor 5" – C60, dope addled and incoherent, the reduced line-up of Karl and Jon produce some good choons, but recorded them really badly. The only real highlight is “Ghost Daddy”. Forthcoming CD compilation “13 GWF Fans Can’t Be Wrong”. |
MP3s